A Day In The Life Of The Taxi Driver
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, drove up onto the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything went quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!” The passenger apologised and said, “I didn’t realise that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”
Flashing Lights
A man is cruising home early one evening in his very hot new car. He’s feeling the power of the big engine and doing 20 kilometres over the limit. Suddenly he sees lights flashing in his rear-view mirror. He knows his car is fast and thinks there’s no way the police car can catch him if he steps on it. So, he put his foot down and the race is on. The cars are blasting down the road, faster and faster, but the police car is keeping up, even gaining ground. Finally, as he hits 120km per hour, the guy figures: “Damn, maybe I can’t shake him,” and gives up. He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says: “Listen mister, I’ve had a really lousy day, and you just made it worse with that stunt. You better have a hell of an excuse for what you just did.” The man thinks for a moment and says, “Well, sir, last month my wife ran away and left me for a cop. When I saw your lights flashing in my mirror, I thought it was him chasing me down to give her back.”