Early Christmas Shopping
A man stands before a judge for his trial. Judge: All right, what are the charges Defendant: Your honour, I am an innocent man. My only crime is doing my Christmas shopping early. Judge: That’s certainly not illegal. Out of curiosity, how early were you shopping? Defendant: 3 hours before the store opened **********
Oil
Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, —and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition. The successful one said, — “How has everything been going with you?” "Well, —one day I opened the Bible at random, —and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, —I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another word, and it was gold. So, —I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller." The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, —flipped it open, —and dropped his finger on a page. He opened his eyes, and his finger rested on the words, — “Chapter Eleven” ***********
God's Donut
An overweight man decided it was time to shed some pounds. He informed his coworkers that he was going on a diet and would no longer be bringing donuts to the office. He knew it would be hard to resist stopping at the bakery on his way to work, but he committed himself to remaining strong and resisting temptation. His coworkers were surprised one morning to see him arrive at the office with a big box of donuts. When they reminded him of his diet, he just smiled. “These are very special donuts,” he explained. “When I left for the office this morning, I knew I was going to drive by the bakery, and I wondered if maybe the Lord might want me to have some donuts today. I wasn’t sure, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to stop and buy some donuts, let there be an open parking place directly in front of the bakery.’ As you know, parking places in front of that bakery are hard to get!” “So, the parking place was there?” one of his coworkers asked. “It was a miracle,” the man replied. “The eighth time around the block, there it was!” ************